I accidentally burped into my bong.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
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Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize