you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
