just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize