I'm passing your future prison.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
