Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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