THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize