She said her name was "party"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
