Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this will be a night to untag.
it's like heaven, but drunker
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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