did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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