Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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