Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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