she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
