I don't think brook has ever known best
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
