Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
