8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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