is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
