even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
