i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
