Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
