Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
