WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
