i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
