dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
