that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
