Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
