the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
