we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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