The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
