Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
