Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
