There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drake has all the answers
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
