I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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