Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
