1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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