You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
