i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
