It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
