Who did Billy Mays play for?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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