Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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