my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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