Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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