I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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