im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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