At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
so much tequila, so little girl.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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