you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
