I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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