I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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