I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
