there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad