i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.