im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy