am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.