How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.