So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS