My hand turned me down
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
