So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
