hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
