party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
