i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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