sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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