so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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