Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm having to shit out rocks
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