I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
